I was talking to a dear friend about this trust journey, and how it was affecting her. I certainly don’t have the answers, I’m just glad I can show what’s going on with me. I get a text saying
I trust. But I’m scared and nervous.
Oh, boy, how I can echo that. I can fill several pages with my buts. I’m so tired at the moment that you’re lucky there’s a spell check, because that’s the best editing that’s going to happen right now. I trust, but the days are grueling. I trust, but my heart is still broken. I trust… but wait, why am I contrasting? Here are a couple of definitions for but:
– used to introduced something contrasting with what has already been mentioned.
– used to indicate the impossibility of anything other than what is being stated.
It seems like when I use but, I’m disqualifying the trust. What if I can trust (conviction, sense of being), and I can feel all those things (scared, nervous, tired, broken – the emotions)? Is it possible to trust, be scared, and still do what you know God has told you to do?
And let’s include another, because I will end here – yet:
– up until the present or a specified or implied time, by now or then
– still; even
– at the same time, nevertheless
I will leave you to ponder our good friend Job:
Though He slay me, yet I will trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him.
– Job 13:15