Baby, It’s Cold Outside

This is a post I wrote when I lived in NYC during that long cold winter that lasted until, like, May or so. In light of my icicles – er, friends – in the North, I thought I’d post this again, a nostalgic rumination of my foray into the -22 degree world that was my home at that time…

I know it’s colder in other places. Truly, I do. But when it gets cold enough, cold is just cold.

It’s cold enough. Seriously.

I’ve only been colder one time in my life, and that was a 30 hour foray into midwestern Canada. I would say hats off to you guys, but my head would freeze.

But, sharing my morning with you, I leave my apartment and think it’s not that bad. After the first 5 steps, I realize that it really is that bad. It. Is. Cold. The wind is tearing across my face, and my toes went numb. And I still had 5 more blocks to get to the subway. I didn’t exactly black out, but I really don’t remember a lot of the walk, except for the fact that I suddenly started to feel a little warmer as I approached the subway entrance. Not exactly a good thing – frostbite was coming to mind. In case you are wondering, there is a point where snot freezes, by the way. I know you were curious.

So I descend the subway steps, grateful to be in a warmer place, and as I’m standing there waiting for my train, I realize something odd.

I can still see my breath. A good twenty degrees warmer, and I can still see my breath. It’s cold.

So, I get on the train and thaw out, then get off at my stop, and it’s cold, but I’m thinking, it’s not as bad as I remember. It really can’t be. Then I come up to street level and realize that it really is as bad as I thought. I walk two blocks (face and snot frozen), and at the bus stop, I wonder if it’s worth risking frostbite again and waiting for the bus, or if I should walk the 5 blocks. Did I mention that I had a herniated disc? My back said “Bloody no, we are not walking.” Okay. Fortunately, a bus comes, but starts to pass the stop. 3 others flag it down, while I’m just thinking “findahappyplace, findahappyplace, findahappyplace.” I get on the bus, ride to my destination, and waddle to the entrance (my legs have frozen stiff by this point).

And that is what subzero is like in NYC. Baby, it’s cold outside.

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