Yet will I trust Him

Job 13

Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.
Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him.

– Job 13:15 (NKJV)

This is choosing to trust, choosing to praise regardless of what is happening around and to us. Some friends and I were chatting today about grief, and how it is usually suppressed and hidden away quickly. An interesting topic brought to light was the fact that there are quite a few Psalms that are desperate cries, and often with no visible resolution. Today, there are not too many of our worship songs and Psalms that we know of that well and truly delve into the depth of despair that David speaks of when his son Absalom turns away from him, or his councilor and friend, Ahithophel betrays him. What happens to our praise, or worship, our trust when situations like that don’t ever resolve.

This song touched me deeply in the depths of my own despair just recently – determination to choose trust, even when. May we all continue to sing praise even when it makes no sense.

RedShoooz – Glad Heart

BYNA 40 Days – Day 6

What trust sometimes looks like

I’ve had this picture for ages and it popped up on my background. I thought it was quite àpropos to the topic at hand…












RedShoooz – You Have Tested My Heart

BYNA 40 Days – Day 5

He who promised is trustworthy.

As I was reading this morning, of course this verse had to pop up:

Let us hold fast the confession of our expectation without yielding, for He who promised is trustworthy.”

Hebrews 10:23 (ISR 2009)

This is all in a context of what Yeshua did for us, being the sin sacrifice, the ultimate atonement for sin. You should go back and read at least the whole chapter – it’s good stuff. Anyway, He who promised is trustworthy. That’s a fact. I may not like how the chips are falling, but He’s got it covered, and has a better plan than I could ever dream up (probably because I wouldn’t want to go through the crud to get to the absolutely amazing, glorious goal on my own).

So because He’s trustworthy, because of His character, I trust Him. Not because it’s easy, not because it will get me what I want, not because it’s always fun. It’s because He’s worthy, and He loves me. And that settles it.

RedShoooz – Enemy

BYNA 40 Days – Day 3

If He so clothes the grass of the fields…

Matthew 6:25-34. Let’s take a look:

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This passage doesn’t mention trust – it exemplifies it. It’s what I thought about after the railing at God because I felt like I followed what He said but had no way to support myself, even to pay the most basic bills. We, rather I, have the concept of trusting Him for everything, and I truly do – to an extent. But when I have tried everything I know to do, and there is absolutely nowhere else to turn and no reasonable (and/or legal) way to eke out the next day, let alone the next week or the next month, I found myself hanging on to trust by a thread with one hand, and waving my hand with the other, crying out alternately demanding that He fix it and pleading with Him to know where I’ve gone wrong.

And time and time again, Abba shows me how he cares and how he’s taking care of me. I’ve never had to go hungry. I’ve always had a roof over my head, whether my own, or the kindness of friends and family. I have shoes on my feet and clothes on my body, and it has been repeatedly through unexpected resources that come exactly at the right time. And grateful though I am, I go back to finding out how I can depend on myself so that this doesn’t happen again. And as I came to the breaking point once again this past week, Yahweh once again proved Himself faithful and worthy of my trust, even when the world is pressing in, and provided finances for rent and food when there was no way I could get it on my own in time. And as I sat weeping in my car, grateful once again, this passage came to mind.

A friend had sent an update in which he said that simply regretting or repenting just isn’t enough – we must act to make it real. So again, I’m making a choice – acting out my repentance – and trusting God despite the circumstances. This journey is not for the faint of heart.

Redshoooz – Wholehearted

BYNA 40 Days – Day 2

40 Days of Reflection

Yes, I realize that I have been rather MIA the last couple of months. It has been very difficult, and I admit to isolating myself and not reaching out much. I still feel like I’m in the middle of it, but I’m choosing to do some things differently. I may not always succeed, but I will continue to try.

I’m going through 40 days of prayers of repentance with B’ney Yosef North America, and a friend and fellow blogger and I starting talking about reflection. At sundown on the 22nd of August, we entered into the month of Elul on the Hebrew calendar. That began the corporate time of focus on repentance for the High Holy days of Yom Teruah, the Days of Awe, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot. In the midst of examining our own hearts, we talked about what topic is the Lord highlighting for us.

Trust is a big deal, and I understand that part of this season for me has been experiencing a completely new and different facet of trust. I realize I’m coming late to the party, but I want to commit to sharing something from Scripture and my thought process on trust every day for 40 days (yeah, I’ll be doubling to catch up). I’ll also link the posts from Redshoooz, who is focusing on the heart, and B’ney Yosef North America. Feel free to walk alongside the journey with us.

The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You.

Isaiah 26:3 (NASB)