Daddy

I wrote this poem some years ago, and I loved it then. But after I heard a teaching, I realized that I needed to make a change. The poem was about Yeshua, but as I went over it in my mind, I realized that all the attributes were of God the Father. There are many ways to interpret that, but I will just leave it at how much I love and trust my Daddy.

Daddy

El Shaddai?
– Yes dear.
I crawl into His lap and
look into His eyes.
I study His face,
memorize Him by touch.
– Nothing.
I just want to know You.
– I know, He smiles.

Abba!
Frightened by the storms,
I cling to Him.
– Yes, My child.
He becomes a strong shelter;
a Rock that draws me near,
One who is not shaken.
– Nothing.
I just want to know You’re there.
His strong arms protect me.
– I know.

Papa God
I cry.
I sob with a bleeding broken heart
dejected, rejected in my hands.
– Yes, My love.
He takes the heart,
bruised and battered by people and life,
and exchanges it for His.
Restored and whole,
I draw near to Him.
– Nothing.
I just want to hear Your voice,
feel Your love.
– I know, He says
and draws me to Himself.

Daddy?
– Yes, precious.
I look with love into His face,
nestled against His chest,
enthralled by His heartbeat.
As I sit in His presence,
absolutely embraced
in His powerfully loving arms,
words fail me;
not even necessary.
I enjoy just…
Him.
– I know.

Advertisements

Reflections

A friend of the family was hit by a drunk driver and killed a bit ago. Apparently it was a hit and run, not sure of all the details. I got a wake up call, quite literally, from my dad at 6:30 this morning. The only reason I answered it was because he’s out of the country right now and I don’t have a call back number. But after asking how everybody was, he asked me if I had heard (the family friend lives in Texas) had died. I went from barely conscious to quite awake in no time flat. We become desensitized to these things, but when it’s someone you know, however casually, it’s a shock. And even though I didn’t know Steve very well, he was a close friend of my father. What struck me most was how stunned my father was. He mentioned several times that Steve had called him a couple of times, and he hadn’t had the chance to call him back. His voice was so full of regret, remorse and self-recrimination and I felt sorry for him. Steve was a close friend, yet his busy life got the best of him. Life is so brief, such a whisper in the wind, and we tend to live like it’s all we have. What regrets would Steve have had? That’s hard to know – it’s a moot point in any case. But what regrets do his ex-wife and his two kids now bear? What promises unfulfilled, what words unsaid, or wish were unsaid? And good friends, like my dad, what “what ifs” are still floating around in their minds, weighing them down with guilt?

It’s a reflection for me, especially that regret my dad for not calling back. We’ve become so busy in our society, we forget to have time for each other. “I’ll call later” turns into, “I was so busy, I forgot.” We do ‘things’, these activities, and they seem to take precedence over our relationships with each other. But if we were to put a pause button on our lives and look them over, what lasting moments would we find? How often did we choose things eternal over things temporal? What do we value, and how does that show up in our choices in how we govern and spend our time? For me, just being utterly transparent at the moment, I have a deep hunger for true, strong relationships and community, and I keep knocking my head against the busyness that seems to be a high value right now. It’s so hard when everything around us wants 48 hours out of our 24-hour day. But when someone is suddenly gone from my life, or at the end of my own, whenever that may be, the last thing I want on my heart and mind is regrets about how I just didn’t make enough time for those I love and care about.

This life is short, and so temporary – love hard.

River of Dreams

I was cleaning out my dad’s desk, and I found a tape (yeah, I know) I made when I was in high school of songs that I particularly liked. I popped it in when I was working out, and came upon “The River” by Garth Brooks. It really struck me mightily, so I wanted to share. Now I could go into explanations and interpretations, but I think if you read it, it will speak to you in its own way…

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin’ as it flows
And a dreamer’s just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what’s behind you
And never knowing what’s in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores…and

I will sail my vessel
‘Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I’ll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
‘Til the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
‘Til what we put off ’til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don’t you sit upon the shoreline
And say you’re satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide…yes

I will sail my vessel
‘Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I’ll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
‘Til the river runs dry

There’s bound to be rough waters
And I know I’ll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all…yes

I will sail my vessel
‘Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I’ll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
‘Til the river runs dry

Yes, I will sail my vessel
‘Til the river runs dry
‘Til the river runs dry

3 letters

I’ve been thinking about the names of God recently, and I thought about the one I love the most, the one that totally overcomes and overwhelms me: He is the I AM. It amazes me so much because it’s so… encompassing. I love Yeshua as my Lover, but He is more than that to me. I love Him as my Comforter and Provider, but He is more than that. He is my Shield, my Bridegroom, my Friend, my Guide, but so much more. The Bright and Morning Star, the Root of Jesse, the Holy One, the Alpha and Omega, Kings of Kings and Lord of Lords – He is all that, but oh, so much more!

I tend to be drawn to songs that emphasize the complete “AM”-ness of God, that begin to try to name His awesome characteristics, but come back to the fact that He is everything, or even that He just… is. I am brought to the fact that in Exodus 3, when Moses was asking God for His introductory profile to present to the Israelites, God said in vs. 14, “I AM WHO I AM… thus you shall say to the children of Israel, I AM has sent me to you.” He IS. It’s so plain and simple, it blows my mind with its greatness.The name “I AM” is related to the verb “to be”, which inherently implies the absolute existence of God. Wow.

What actually got me reflecting on all this was the passage in John 8 when the Jews were disputing with Jesus, and He mentions that if people kept His word that they will never see death. That led to talk of Abraham, and finally to question how Jesus had seen Abraham since He wasn’t even an old man. His response? “…before Abraham was, I AM.” I sit in amazement still. That sentence displays the timelessness, the ever present-ness of Him. He transcends time – before Abraham was born, He was, He IS right now, He will always BE. I am undone. Two words, three letters, and it cries out the complete essence of God. I AM.