Day of Trumpets

Today is Rosh Hoshana (the head of the year, or Yom Teruah (the Day of Trumpets or the Day of Blowing). It is the onset of the fall feasts, and the beginning of the 10 Days of Awe leading up to Yom Kippur, and the Sukkot, or the Feast of Tabernacles. There is a lot of speculation as to what this time means in regards to the Day of the Lord, end times and all that, but I will leave that to people more knowledgeable than I.

I’m reflecting on the fact that this day is about announcing. It’s heralding the time of harvest, prodding us to reflect and repent, which can be bitter, humiliating, and I don’t know what else. It’s also a preparation for a glorious 8 day party, celebrating the Lord, His blessings, our family, our community, etc.

In Deuteronomy 32, the Song of Moses is taught. Yah instructed Moses to compose a song and teach it to the children of Israel, which was passed on from generation to generation. It calls for His people to learn from the past and look to the future. We sometimes either get bogged down by our past to the point that we can’t move on to what He has for us, or we completely dismiss and ignore our past, and can’t figure out why we keep making the same mistakes. Our Father –  so loving, trustworthy, and faithful – framed the appointed times in such a way that we are always growing closer to Him and shedding or turning away from the things that hinder. I am in awe, and during these Days of Awe, I will continue to reflect, repent, and learn, that I may go into the future celebrating His glory!!

Redshoooz – Give Me Your Eyes
BYNA 40 Days – Day 28, Day 29

 

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Trust on another level

I did mention before that this trust thing is not a journey for the faint of the heart. Today was rough – very, very rough. So, my reading this morning took me to Genesis 22, the recounting of God asking Abraham offer his only son, his Promise, on the altar to Him. I can only imagine Abraham’s shock and second guessing, but what we see in this passage is a steadiness, confidence, and trust that blows my mind. In verse 5, he tells his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while the boy and I go over there and worship, and come back to you.” He’s being completely obedient, yet trusting that the promise the Lord has given him about Isaac will still come to pass. When his son asks, understandably, where the sacrifice is for the offering, Abraham replies, “…Elohim does provide for Himself the lamb for an ascending offering.” Hebrew 11:17-19 (NASB) tells us:

By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was offering up his only begotten son; it was he to whom it was said, “In Isaac your descendants shall be called.” He considered that God is able to raise people even from the dead, from which he also received him back as a type.

There is no dialogue of discussing, reasoning, pleading. I simply see obedience and a trust that God is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do, regardless of the circumstances.

So as I sat reflecting on that – a trust that seems to me to guide an unequivocal obedience, a confidence in a trustworthy Father who fulfills His promises – He brought to the front of my mind a couple of promises that I had folded, boxed up, and put away because it was no longer possible. I had let them go because the time seemed to have passed, and the process was truly one of the more painful times in my life. I figured I needed to just take my hands off and leave it to whatever God wants to do with it. But as I reflected on Abraham and his son, I felt the Lord point them out and ask me if I will trust Him in that, too.

I wept. I cried off and on all day, and I’m wiping tears off my keyboard as I type. This is way harder than trusting Him to provide for the bills. I remember some verse about those faithful in a little will be faithful in much, and I’m thinking, I’m so not ready for the much. I feel so bruised once again; I don’t have the strength for this. And still He asks, will I trust Him in all things.

I find myself repenting – not just repenting, but making teshuva, changing my direction. Instead of walking away from broken things and dreams, I choose to stand and make an offering to He who is Trustworthy. Instead of reasoning based on circumstances, I choose to trust in His promises. And in spite of the whirling emotions of fear, pain, weariness, etc., I chose fulfill my promise I made to my Father decades ago, that whatever He asks of me, the answer is yes.

BYNA 40 Days – Day 21, Day 22

If He so clothes the grass of the fields…

Matthew 6:25-34. Let’s take a look:

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This passage doesn’t mention trust – it exemplifies it. It’s what I thought about after the railing at God because I felt like I followed what He said but had no way to support myself, even to pay the most basic bills. We, rather I, have the concept of trusting Him for everything, and I truly do – to an extent. But when I have tried everything I know to do, and there is absolutely nowhere else to turn and no reasonable (and/or legal) way to eke out the next day, let alone the next week or the next month, I found myself hanging on to trust by a thread with one hand, and waving my hand with the other, crying out alternately demanding that He fix it and pleading with Him to know where I’ve gone wrong.

And time and time again, Abba shows me how he cares and how he’s taking care of me. I’ve never had to go hungry. I’ve always had a roof over my head, whether my own, or the kindness of friends and family. I have shoes on my feet and clothes on my body, and it has been repeatedly through unexpected resources that come exactly at the right time. And grateful though I am, I go back to finding out how I can depend on myself so that this doesn’t happen again. And as I came to the breaking point once again this past week, Yahweh once again proved Himself faithful and worthy of my trust, even when the world is pressing in, and provided finances for rent and food when there was no way I could get it on my own in time. And as I sat weeping in my car, grateful once again, this passage came to mind.

A friend had sent an update in which he said that simply regretting or repenting just isn’t enough – we must act to make it real. So again, I’m making a choice – acting out my repentance – and trusting God despite the circumstances. This journey is not for the faint of heart.

Redshoooz – Wholehearted

BYNA 40 Days – Day 2

40 Days of Reflection

Yes, I realize that I have been rather MIA the last couple of months. It has been very difficult, and I admit to isolating myself and not reaching out much. I still feel like I’m in the middle of it, but I’m choosing to do some things differently. I may not always succeed, but I will continue to try.

I’m going through 40 days of prayers of repentance with B’ney Yosef North America, and a friend and fellow blogger and I starting talking about reflection. At sundown on the 22nd of August, we entered into the month of Elul on the Hebrew calendar. That began the corporate time of focus on repentance for the High Holy days of Yom Teruah, the Days of Awe, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot. In the midst of examining our own hearts, we talked about what topic is the Lord highlighting for us.

Trust is a big deal, and I understand that part of this season for me has been experiencing a completely new and different facet of trust. I realize I’m coming late to the party, but I want to commit to sharing something from Scripture and my thought process on trust every day for 40 days (yeah, I’ll be doubling to catch up). I’ll also link the posts from Redshoooz, who is focusing on the heart, and B’ney Yosef North America. Feel free to walk alongside the journey with us.

The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You.

Isaiah 26:3 (NASB)