It’s a crazy, scary, exhilarating, confusing, crazy, and scary journey, you know? But as you take the first steps, no matter how small they are, the Lord proves Himself over and over, and you gain confidence that your trust is rightly placed. And even when things don’t go the way that you were hoping, you know that there is something else amazing at play.
I checked my account and it was in the positive. It had $1.47, but at least the numbers were black, and not red – I know enough to be grateful for certain graces. I remembered that I had my car insurance coming out on Monday, and I’m thinking, well, there is nothing I can do about it. Not. A. Thing. Payday isn’t until the following Friday, and a little money may or may not come in on Monday, but after my account goes red. But God has shown up stranger ways, so I might as well just give it up to him. It’s a waste of energy to worry about what I can’t fix.
Then I’m notified that I have some funds coming to me, and it’s just enough to cover the bill! Woo-hoo! In the same hour, two other unexpected bills show up. This can’t be my life, but it is. Oh well, at least I’m good for one. God’s got the rest, because I certainly don’t. But, when the check is written, it ends up being enough to cover all three bills. And the money on Monday will be enough for groceries. I sit in wonder, and remember a post I wrote years ago, Gather Not a Few. It’s a reflection on the story of Elisha and the widow and her son going hungry in famine. He tells her to gather jars, gather not a few, and fill them up. Here’s what I wrote, and what I remembered today:
Now, the widow, not really knowing Elisha or what was going on, gathered as many jars she could find, expecting he would do something. Why do I, who knows how big, generous, loving, etc, my God is, only put out my faith for a little blessing, or “just enough”, thinking that I can just get by?
Yes, I can trust Him for the manna for each day. I can also lay out my needs, and let Him handle how He’s going to arrange things, because, you know, He’s God and I’m not. I’m cool with that.